The Daughter He Never Knew Read online

  “Heh, heh, heh,” laughed Bart softly.

  Huh? “What game are you playing, Bartholomew?”

  “No game, my boy. You’ve been out of touch for a few days, so you don’t know yet. The ring’s gone from her finger.”

  Now Jason collapsed on the kitchen chair. “What happened?”

  The Realtor’s voice became thin. “She wouldn’t share the details, lad. Just something about ‘not being Eileen.’ That was his wife’s name, you know.”

  Jason wasn’t surprised. “So, how’s she…adjusting?” He groped for the right word.

  “Well, lad, that’s what I’m worried about. She’s going into a deep freeze, my granddaughter is. She says she’ll never be anyone’s ‘Eileen.’ And that no one could ever be her ‘Jason.’”

  “But that’s crazy. I’m right here and she knows it.”

  “And that’s the sad part, my boy. She doesn’t want you now. And she’s stubborn. She wants the old you, but since that’s impossible, she’ll stay alone. Now, that’s crazy. Too sad, isn’t it? Makes my heart hurt.”

  “You’re making my brain hurt,” replied Jason, his thoughts twirling. Bart was talking a sad story, yet his voice vibrated with quiet excitement.

  “So do something about it,” said Bart. And for the third time that day, a buzzing dial tone was all Jason heard.

  He glanced at his watch and dashed for the car. Definitely time to get away from the phone and get the kids. He was tempted to leave his cell on the table.

  Perfect timing. He pulled up to school exactly as the children were being dismissed, and several minutes later, he spotted the third-grade class coming down the front steps. Katie and Casey waved at him, but only Casey ran over. He glanced at his daughter, and saw her talking to Sara.

  “What’s happening with the girls, Case?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not sure. Sara’s real sad. Katie, too. I guess they wanted to be sisters.”

  Oh, boy. The trickle-down effect.

  “Uncle Jase—maybe they could be blood brothers.”

  “You think?” He ruffled Casey’s hair. “Let’s find out.” He strolled to the girls, Casey alongside him. As soon as he was in earshot, Katie ran to him, spilling the entire situation about Lila and Adam not getting married and Sara and Katie couldn’t be sisters anymore, but they wanted to be sisters, anyway. And who needs a dumb old wedding to have a sister?

  “That’s right,” said Sara, looking at Jason with big round chocolate-brown eyes. Troubled and worried eyes. A sensitive child. “Who needs a dumb old wedding?”

  “You don’t need a wedding ceremony,” said Jason. “You need a sister ceremony. A very special ceremony that will make you sisters of the heart forever and ever.”

  “Oh-h-h—good idea, Daddy. Can we call Dr. Fielding and see if Sara can come home with us?”

  Jason pulled out his cell phone and handed it to Sara. In the end, Jason had to speak with Sara’s father, assuring him he’d bring Sara home in time for dinner. It could have been an awkward conversation, but Jason had to give Fielding credit for not letting his pride stand in the way of the girls’ friendship.

  He drove the kids to the Shell Shop, which carried gift items made of seashells. It also carried arts-and-craft supplies. They walked out with three old-fashioned cigar boxes—Casey decided to make a gift for Laura—as well as plastic bags of shells, colored sand, glue, paper, markers. They would create beautiful boxes to hold secrets and gifts between sisters. A picture. A poem. A toy. A note. Whatever little girls wanted to share.

  Jason marveled at their nonstop enthusiasm. Their ever-flowing ideas. How they made selections in the store. He loved the sound of their giggling. It ebbed and flowed like the tides. He began to whistle alongside them. Casey cocked his head, then followed his lead. Katie took notice. Listened. Became a member of the whistling chorus.

  Then Jason looked at Sara, who was staring at the other three in awe and confusion. “Your job is to giggle,” he told the child. “You’re the one who started the whole thing.”

  The girl’s eyes shone with delight and off she went into delicate peals of laughter. She was moonlight to Katie’s sunshine. The girls filled a need in each other, their personalities locking like puzzle pieces.

  After they returned to Sea View House, the children worked on their projects until he had to take Sara home. He arrived at the veterinary clinic at six. Fielding emerged from the building and Sara ran to him. He stood with his hands on Sara’s shoulders and looked at Jason, who was standing outside his car.

  “Sara had a good time, so if it’s okay with you, she’s welcome to come back tomorrow to finish the project,” said Jason, waving at Sara.

  Adam stared at him as though he were a specimen under his microscope. “Have you seen her?”

  Electricity filled the air. The back of Jason’s neck tingled. He knew to whom Fielding referred.

  “No,” said Jason, beginning to climb back into the driver’s seat.

  “You killed something in her, Parker. She didn’t deserve it. So I figure it’s your responsibility to fix her up.” He paused for a heartbeat. “For Lila’s sake…good luck.”

  Jason had wanted to flatten the guy when he’d heard his first words, but the man spoke the truth. He nodded to the vet and got behind the wheel.

  NEXT STOP, Bay Road. Lila’s house.

  Bart opened the door. “She’s in the kitchen.”

  Jason looked at Katie and Casey. “Hang out with Papa Bart for a few minutes.” It wasn’t a question, but an order. They both nodded.

  “Thanks, guys.”

  They grinned.

  Lila didn’t grin when she saw him in the doorway. “Another flying visit?”

  He ignored her jibe and walked toward her at the sink where she was cutting vegetables. Her hands slowed as he approached. Her back straightened.

  “How are you, Lila?” he asked softly.

  “Does it matter?” She didn’t turn around.

  “What kind of question is that? Of course it matters!”

  She turned then, her eyes glowing like a banked fire. “I’ll survive, Jason. Like I’ve done until now.”

  “That’s not enough. Not when you can have more.”

  “It’s enough for me.”

  “Oh, no… No, it isn’t.” He leaned toward her, and she froze. His lips touched hers. Moved across them gently. As though he were breaking in a nervous colt, he was gentle when he stroked her cheek, when he caressed her shoulder. Light touches. Light kisses. He finally heard her sigh. And just when he was about to press his mouth a little more firmly, she stepped to the side.

  This time the shine in her eyes looked like tears. “Why are you being so cruel?” she whispered. “We’re not living in a movie where the girl falls into the hero’s arms after one kiss. This is real life.”

  “And so is this—I love you, Lila. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  But she was shaking her head. “No. No, you don’t. You don’t know me anymore, Jason. You love the girl you remember. But that girl is dead. As dead as Jared. As dead as the boy you once were.” When she looked at him now, her eyes were clear and her soul shone through. She was speaking from her heart.

  He couldn’t ask for more than that.

  But his voice cracked when he tried to respond. “Then let’s start over, Lila. Since you think we’re different people now, let’s give ourselves a chance to know each other.”

  She turned away from him to stare through the window at the descending darkness. “I’m afraid,” she whispered. And he wrapped his arms around her then. She fit so perfectly, he could have stayed as they were forever.

  “Are you afraid of me?” he whispered. “Lila, honey. I’d protect you with my life. You are breaking my heart right now. What are you afraid of?”

  She twisted in his arms and stared into his eyes. “I’m afraid of not surviving another round with you. And if I don’t survive, Katie doesn’t survive. She needs a strong mother. I can’t risk folding.�
�

  Backward reasoning. “If your strength is rooted in fear, then you’re not truly strong. And you can’t be happy. But if your strength is based on confidence, then you’ll not only survive, you’ll thrive.”

  She broke away from him. “I’m doing the best I can,” she said. “And I don’t need any psychoanalysis from you!”

  He held up his hands. “Sorry. I’ll let you even the score. Come to the senior-class program next week at the high school. You might find it interesting.”

  And it might be a starting point for them. On the other hand, she might run as far and as fast as her long legs could carry her. He examined her tired face, the face he loved, and wished she’d let him help her.

  “I’ll be looking for another piece of property,” he said, trying to distract her. “Commercial this time.”

  That got her attention. “Commercial? For what purpose?”

  “A sound studio. Not only for recording demos, but also for recording the real thing. I don’t think the basement in my new house will be big enough.”

  He’d gotten her attention. “Here? In Pilgrim Cove?” she asked.

  He nodded. “I’m back, Lila. For good.”

  LILA FINISHED PREPARING the salad, retrieved the hamburgers from the broiler and called Katie and Bart in for supper. Her thoughts kept shifting to Jason. He wanted her and Katie to join him at Matt’s house later, but wouldn’t tell her why. Only that it had to do with some new recordings.

  She didn’t know what to think. What did Jason really have in mind? She wasn’t a musician, but he’d invited her, anyway. She glanced at Bart. “Did Jason ever ask you to look for space to use as a recording studio?”

  Bart’s eyes gleamed. He put his utensils down with a clatter. “A studio! What a good idea. Our boy is thinking ahead. No need to go to L.A.” His brow creased in thought. “Do we have anything on Main Street? How big a place does he need? And what about utilities?”

  “I know nothing.”

  “This is so cool!” said Katie, jumping from her seat. “Maybe famous people will come here. Maybe even Luis Torres. Maybe Christina Aguilera. And Britney Spears. Ohh…maybe some cute boy bands!”

  Lila’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. “You’re only eight years old! What do you know about boy bands, anyway?”

  “Ma-a-a! Do you think I only know Grandpa Sam’s songs? I know lots of other stuff!”

  She looked at Bart. “What do I know?” he said with a shrug. “But I bet her dad knows a lot. Why don’t you ask him?” He glanced at his watch. “We’ve got an extra card game at Lou’s tonight. Don’t want to be late.” He reached for Lila and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m feeling mighty lucky today.”

  “You feel lucky every day,” replied Lila, planting a kiss on his cheek in return. “How do you manage that?”

  Bart laughed. “It’s easy. I’m surrounded by four-leaf clovers!” He waved to her and left the room.

  Lila stared after him and shook her head. Her Irish granddad and his glib responses. Four-leaf clovers, indeed! She was Irish, too, but along with her one perfect rose, her garden was overrun with thorns.

  “Katie, let’s go to Uncle Matt’s house and see what’s going on. Bring some pajamas.”

  She might as well learn what Jason was up to and what she had to do to protect Katie. Or to protect Pilgrim Cove, for that matter. She leaned against the fridge. Luis Torres in Pilgrim Cove? The town would go nuts! It would be a madhouse.

  Ten minutes later, she knocked on Matt and Laura’s back door. She heard footsteps approach, and then Laura was greeting her with delight.

  “You two are just in time!” she said, waving them inside. “Everybody’s in the music room.” Katie ran off.

  “Do you know what’s going on?” Lila asked as they walked.

  “Not a clue.”

  “Probably some harebrained idea,” mumbled Lila.

  Laura squeezed her hand in response. “We’ve got Matt and Sam in there, Lila. They’re not harebrained at all.”

  Lila began to breathe more easily. When they approached the back of the house, however, and she heard the familiar music of Scott Joplin’s “The Entertainer,” she could barely breathe at all. She managed to steady herself. Until she saw the two men at the keyboard. Two brothers. Two look-alikes. Time collapsed and she froze on the threshold. “Oh, my God…” Her whisper was enough to catch Jason’s attention.

  “Lila! How nice…” He jumped from the seat and caught her as she swayed. “What’s wrong?” he asked, leading her to the sofa.

  “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She pushed his arms away. She looked at Matt, still watching from the piano bench. At Sam, who was looking at her with concern. At Laura, whose blue eyes were wide open. “It’s just that the two of you… When I walked in…”

  “You thought it was Jared with me,” Jason said.

  She smiled in apology at Matt. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. You weren’t expecting to see us at the piano.”

  “The past will haunt you till you face it,” said Jason. “Believe me, I know. You need to face it and move forward.”

  What did he think she’d been trying to do all these years? “Is that a convenient sound bite from the West Coast? ‘Face the past. Move forward.’” Her hands on her hips, she moved into his space. “And after facing that past, what do I do with my memories?” she asked. “He killed himself because of me. I screamed at him to leave you alone! Leave us alone. ‘Go to New York,’ I said. ‘Get out of here already. You’re tearing Jason into tiny pieces.’” She couldn’t stop the tears.

  “My God,” said Matt Parker. “There’s enough guilt to go around for everyone.”

  But she hadn’t finished. She took a step closer to Jason. Poked him with her finger. “And what did you do? You blamed me, too! He blamed me for keeping you back, and you blamed me for his recklessness that night. You took your grief, your guilt and your anger and you left. In the end, you chose a dead man over me.”

  If Jason was shocked, he didn’t show it. He put his hands on her shoulders, shaking her gently until she looked at him. “You listen to me, Lila Sullivan. You did not put him behind the wheel. You did not force-feed him a keg of beer. You did not tell him to smash into a telephone pole.”

  She heard his harsh breathing. His dark eyes blazed like a steel furnace, unbearably hot but controlled.

  “He did it to himself, Lila. I didn’t cause it. You didn’t cause it. No one’s to blame but Jared, himself.” His eyes darkened as he stared at her. “My God, Lila. I never once thought to blame you.”

  No one moved. No one spoke. Not even Sam Parker who had lost a son. But Jason hadn’t finished.

  “You want to know where I was for nine years?” asked Jason. “I was figuring out what happened to us that night. That year. The three of us.” He was silent, until finally, a slow grin crossed his face. “I sure as hell hope you learn faster than I do. Time’s a-wasting.”

  Lila stepped back. “Don’t rush me, Jason. Right now, it’s my turn to put it to rest instead of hiding behind motherhood and career building.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew they were true. All the painful threads of her past had tied her in knots too tangled to unravel by herself. So she’d focused on her daughter and building Quinn Real Estate and Property Management. She’d avoided looking inside until now. Until she wasn’t alone. She’d needed Jason to put the memory of that night into focus. They were the only two on earth who’d been there.

  She walked to Jason’s dad, a man whom she’d known and loved her whole life. A man she trusted. “Sam. Do you believe what Jason said about Jared?”

  “I do, honey.” He patted her cheek. Such a sweet man. “People have to be responsible for themselves. My wife was not…herself. You remember that. She blamed Jason.”

  Lila nodded.

  “The day I left,” began Jason, “didn’t I say my mom couldn’t stand looking at me? Seeing my face?”

  She nodded again. “But that’
s not the same as blaming you.”

  “She said I’d chosen you over Jared and made Jared miserable. Said I could have pulled him out of the car….”

  But Lila shook her head. “You couldn’t. That much I know. We tried. He was so strong….”

  “My dear children,” said Sam, “we cannot undo the past. We can only learn from it.” He looked toward his older son. “Matthew! Get out some schnapps. The bottle we save for Bart. We’re going to toast to new beginnings. And allow those who are no longer with us to rest in peace.” He pointed at Jason. “But you—you’ll get lemonade!”

  That was the second time in Lila’s presence that Jason chose not to imbibe. She looked at him.

  “I had a problem some years back,” he began. “Four years ago to be exact. I had become an alcoholic. I got help. So now I don’t touch the hard stuff. And life is good again.”

  Four years ago. That’s when she’d received that fateful message. “So you just say no?” she asked, pasting a smile on her face while she tried to absorb the new information.

  “Something like that.”

  SHE’D CLOSED DOWN ON HIM again. Stepped back just when they were starting to warm up. Just when all the bits and pieces of their shared memories were finally out on the table to be examined and understood. Well, at least they’d accomplished that much. But it wasn’t enough. Not in Jason’s mind.

  He’d felt her withdrawal as soon as he mentioned the word alcoholic. He sighed, glanced at his watch and walked back to the piano. Only fifteen minutes had passed since Lila and Katie had arrived. He was surprised. Illuminating the past had exhausted him, had seemed to take forever.

  And what about the future? Lila might be right after all. They weren’t the same people they used to be. Years of living had intervened, and they weren’t eighteen anymore.

  He hefted his binder of original music. The proof of time passing lay right there. After seating himself at the piano facing the room, he studied each person. The kids sat on the floor, curious. His brother and father, eager and impatient. Laura, eyes twinkling, encouraging. Only Lila sat alone. Quietly waiting.